Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
