Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
