we have officially mastered the walk of shame
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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