This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
