He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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