Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
