just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
