Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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