Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
