I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
