Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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