I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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