someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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