so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
