so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
