How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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