i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
