are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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