you guys were way drunker than both of me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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