that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize