Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
