Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
