If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
