I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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