I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
