Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
