this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
