I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
