new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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