Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
