Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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