just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize