you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
