how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
