This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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