dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
