Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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