im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
