Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
