I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
