Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
