He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
