The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
