I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You took a bar mat shot.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
