no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
