This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
