You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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