I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My feet surprised me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
