Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
