It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just invented taco cereal.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
