So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
