did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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