Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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