There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
