does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
