Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
