do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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