So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your penis caused this!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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