Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
